My dad's friend is driving to the farm. Meanwhile I'm tingling with fear, it's my first time on an overnight hunt. Driving, driving and more driving. Eventually after what had seemed like forever we finally get there. But this isn't a normal farm, this farm is all across hills and has steep cliffs.
So now all we need to do is find a flat surface so we can set up camp. But before we find a place to camp, we find a swine of pigs running into a bush, they must've already smelt us. They were about 50 feet below us because we are on a hill. So we get out of the car and set up the guns, then my dad tells me to cover my ears, next minute. Bang!
He told me that was to get them out of the bush but I think he just missed it. So we kept on watching them for half an hour. But then we decided to leave because we needed to find somewhere to place out tents.
Yes we have stopped! “Now, let's go hunting!” I shout. We are all walking on an open track with an enormous hill next to us. The grass is a buttery colour with a few trees and bushes. Then my dad says to me “get down, get down, be very quiet.”
I whisper to him “is it another pig?”
He answers “yes, over there”
I ask him if he can shoot it or is it too far away? He says he will give it a go. He prones. Looks at me and says, “cover your ears”. He slowly pulls the trigger back… BOOM! SMACK! He blew a hole in the pig!
But wait, the pig runs off into a bush. My dad says “dammit we wounded it”. Then we were looking for about 1 hour then my dad says “I think that is enough hunting for one day.”
We hop into the tents and next minute, I’m fast asleep. I wake up in the middle of the night. Then I hear this rrroooaaarrr, and another one. Rrroooaaarrr. I'm literally wetting my pants right now. Is the pig back? Then I wake up fully I'm now wide awake… But then I realise something, The roaring is my dad snoring! I am incredibly angry, but not that angry about getting scared for nothing, it was because I had to go back to sleep with him snoring in the same tent!
I'm was learning to change my simple sentences to complex sentences. It went really well because I didn't use any simple and easy sentences. For example: He prones, looks at me and says, “cover your ears”. He slowly pulls the trigger back… BOOM! SMACK! He blew a hole in the pig!
What are my next steps?
My next steps are to use punctuation in the right way. Also to use capital letters in the right places. I also need to stay in the same tense for the whole story.